It's Snowin'!

Actually fun to ride in..

Okay, so I actually have a little energy today so I'm going to toss this one up kinda quick before I lose my motivation.  I really have to clean this apartment!

After being dead tired yesterday I ended up sleeping in a bit this morning.  In my rush to get breakfast in me and get out the door I accidentally left my fridge door open.  No serious losses, just some lettuce and a half carton of soy milk, but I still feel pretty stupid for not noticing it.  Why my fridge decided at that moment to stay open I will never understand.  

This morning I mixed some vegan Creatine Monohydrate into my soaked oats and I do believe I noticed a difference today.  

I started with a 3 mile run @ 6mph and a 1.0% incline.  This incline is starting to get easier and I think I'll be able to bump up the speed soon without too much soreness.

Chest and Triceps

 **So today I was able to lift heavier than I had last week but my left forearm failed WAY earlier.  It became SUPER limiting on the Flys and Chest Push ups.

Flat Bench w/ DB

Warm up: 12 @ 25lbs

1st: 10 @ 30lbs (struggled on the 10th rep, thought I was screwed for sure.)

2nd: 10 @ 35lbs

3rd: 8 @ 40lbs

4th Super Set: 2 @ 40lbs / 4 @ 30lbs / 10 @ 20lbs.

**Last week I couldn't even LIFT the 40's so to push them for the full 8 reps was awesome!  

Incline Bench

1st: 10 @ 25lbs

2nd: 10 @ 30lbs

3rd: 8 @ 30lbs (Tried but couldn't lift the 35lbs, felt close though) 

4th: Super Set: 7 @ 30 lbs / 5 @ 25lbs / 6 @ 20lbs

** This one improved a lot as well.  I got all my reps before failure and upped my weight on the super set. 

Chest Push Ups/ DB Fly

**This is where my left forearm started to give.  It was so tired that I couldn't keep my left hand wrapped around the DB.  I actually dropped it on the first set. I had to put so much energy into keeping my hand closed around the DB that I didn't have any energy left for the push ups and my left arm failed completely.

1st: 13 @ 20lbs and 15 push ups.  

2nd: 15 @ 20lbs and 15 push ups.

Triceps Overhead

**This one improved a touch but I was having problems controlling the DB with my left arm.  Did more lifting with my right tri than my left tri.

1st: 10 @ 30lbs

2nd: 10 @ 35lbs

3rd: 10 @ 40lbs.  

I didn't get a chance to do cable pull down.  My motivation wasn't exactly working this morning so I spent too much time sitting on my butt and started my workout late.  

Ah well.  I still feel pretty good.  Not as wrecked and shaky as I did last week, but at least I felt like a progressed. 

 

Yesterday's workout.. cuz I'm lazy.

I ended up skipping my workouts for the 18th and 19th.  On Friday my stomach was a bit upset and on Saturday I had chores, chores, chores!

I DID, however, manage to drag my ass into the gym yesterday after work and get a run and lifting session in! 

I hope I can continue to work out on the weekends after work but I'm afraid that priviledge is being threatened.  One of the other trainers has decided to be a dick about it.  He's basically a dick all around so I'm not too surprised about this, I just don't want to lose my workout time on the weekends. I really enjoy it and I know that Little C does too since we're on the same weekend schedule. 

There's also been a new and interesting developement!  I have had some problems keeping my weight down.  It's a diet issue for certain.  I over eat all the time and my diet's not so great about 25% of the time. 

Well, I've got some new motivation to tighten up my diet now!  TDS has a friend that is interested in my diet and TDS asked me to track my eating habits for a week so he could pass it along.  AHH!  Nothing like being put on the spot to make me REALLY pay attention to what I'm eating!  Hahahaha...  I know what I'm supposed to be eating to keep my weight where it should be, but I've been SO lazy about it lately that it's been unconscionable.

I think part of it has been having the week nights off.  I end up sitting around the house reading and eating and watching movies and eating and writing and eating and napping and eating!  I'm sure you can see where the problem is.  I have been keeping a mental tally in my head and I think that I'm up to about 3,000 calories a day, 33% of which is usually garbage food like chips, sandwichs (like 4 sandwiches in a row), pasta, rice, prepared foods, or things that are high cal and easy for me to bulk eat.  There's nothing like eating a whole box of whole wheat pasta in one sitting with home made marinara.  That right there is about 1,000 calories. I do that routinely.

So, there are two changes coming up that should adjust those eating habits a bit.  The first one is having that 'interested eye' looking over my shoulder *gulp!*, and the second is I'm going to take a few fun classes starting in January!  YAY!  That way I won't be sitting at home convincing myself I'm hungry when I'm actually just bored. 

Okay, so on to yesterday's workout:

Ran 3 miles at 6.0 mph and a 1% incline.  I'm still breaking in my shoes and I'm working my way through the associated aches and pains.  The shoes are AWESOME though.

Lifting: Legs and Shoulders.

I ran into problems with the shoulder portion of the workout.  Not having a spotter made some of the exercises really sketchy.

Leg Press/Body Squat Superset

Warm Up: Two plates for 12 reps
1st: 10 @ 2 plates, then 25 body weight squats
2nd: 10 @ 4 plates, then 20 body weight squats
3rd: 8 @ 6 plates, then 15 body weight squats.
**The weight on the machine was plenty heavy for me, but I'm going to have to add weight to the squats cuz they're more like a rest than a super set. (It's my huge ass!  Who knew it had so much muscle?!)

Hamstring Curls

1st: 10 @ 60lbs
2nd: 8 @ 65lbs
3rd: 6 @ 65lbs
**I don't know what it is about this exercise.  Some days I can get up to 80lbs for my last set, and some days I struggle with 60lbs.  Maybe I'm shifting something in my technique?

Seated DB Press

TDS wanted me to press 25lbs, then 30lbs, then 35lbs.  I struggled with the 25lbs and didn't feel comfortable having this weight above my head without a spotter so I lightened the load.

1st: 10 @ 25lbs
2nd: 4 @ 30lbs and 4 @ 25lbs (Almost dropped the 30lbs on my head!)
3rd: 10@ 20lbs.  My shoulders weren't tired, but I couldn't get my left arm stable enough to keep the weight where it should be.

Delt Flys Super Set with Front Raises

** I bombed on this one.  My shoulders didn't feel tired but my triceps and forearms were burnt. I couldn't keep my elbows and wrists stable enough to hold the weights.

Kyle asked for 20lbs, then 15lbs, then 10lbs.  I couldn't do it so I changed it to:
1st: 10 & 10 @15 lbs
2nd: 10 & 10 @ 12lbs
3rd: 10 & 10 @ 10lbs

Shrugs

**These were easy.  The hardest part was trying to hold on to the DBs.  I didn't feel anything in my shoulders to be honest.

1st: 12 @ 45lbs
2nd: 12 @ 45lbs
3rd: 10 @ 45lbs
4th: 10 @ 45lbs

--I think with these I'm going to have to just up the reps if I want to get any work out of them.  I just cannot hold onto that weight.

All in all I don't think I got too much out of this lifting day.  Most of it was due to the fact that even though my prime movers were up to the task, I didn't have a spotter to really push and my agonist muscles couldn't carry the weight. 

I'm sure this will all start evening out with practice. 

Right now I'm trying to decide if I'm going to work out today or not.  I'm having one of those days were I feel like I have all this creative energy crammed into my head and all I can think about is how I want to get it OUT somehow. 
These tend to be the WORST days for working out.  :-/  

No running today..

..because I'm dead tired.  I think I maybe got an hour of sleep last night.

I DID lift today, so here's the workout.

Back and Biceps.

Dead Lifts.  I hate Dead Lifts.  They hurt my back, ribs, and neck REALLY bad and no one seems to understand that.  (Insert very frustrated face here)  Last time TDS had me do these I think we put 15's on each side and the whole time it felt like my back was going to slide out of place.  I couldn't breathe, my neck hurt (I have no idea why), and my right hip was SINGING in pain.  Yes, I complained.  No, he didn't listen.  I ended up icing my back for the next two days after. 

So today his lifting plan indicated that I should be putting 20's or 25's on each side.  I call bullshit!  Not going to do it.  Not after last time.  I put 10's on each side and called it good until the last set, where I put 15's on. 

So, 1st Set 5 @ 10lbs
2nd 5 @ 10lbs
3rd 5 @ 10 lbs
4th 5 @10 lbs
5th 5 @ 15lbs.

I wish I hadn't done the 15's because I could FEEL something shift in my back and now my right back and hip hurt like hell.  I will NOT be doing anything above 10lbs for a while.  That's final.

Okay, I feel a little better now. 

Lat Pull Down Superset with Pull-ups.

I suck at pull-ups.  I can't do them without one foot on something for a little boost.  YOU try lifting 145lbs!  Just try it!

Anywho...

1st set 12 @ 60lbs and 9 pull ups.
2nd 10 @ 75lbs and 8 pull ups
3rd 8 @ 90 lbs and 10 pull ups.

Body Weight Rows. 

These are neat.  Take your Smith Machine, set the bar to about 3 feet off the ground, lay down, grab the bar, and lift yourself up.  Repeat.  Great core workout too!

I did 10/10/7.  I'm pretty awful at these but I've not been doing them consistently.

Bent Over Row

I didn't think about this until right now but he MAY have wanted me to to a Bent Over Straight Bar Row.  I did it with Dumbbells instead.  I wouldn't have done the straight bar anyway because my back hurts so bad right now I can't sit and cross my legs. Fuck You Dead Lifts!

He also asked for 40lbs and I simply couldn't lift them.  So I went with the 35's.

I did 8reps for all 3 sets with the 35lbs.

Preacher Curl

I'm pretty sure I'm not doing these right.  My biceps are probably my weakest link.  I can never get full extention and then flex with anything over a 20lbs.  I followed his weight, but I was stopping my extention just past the 90 deg angle mark.  Sorry. 

1st 12 @ 40lbs
2nd 10 @ 40 lbs
3rd 5 @ 50 lbs.  He asked for 45lbs here but there's no such thing in this gym. 

And that was it for today.  Other than my back I don't feel like I worked too hard.  I tried, but it's one of those things where I don't seem to be able to lift enough weight to get a good workout.  Ah well.  Someday.  :) 

I'm playing hookie today!

How could you NOT love this show?!?

Yup, takin' the day off of everything.

I DO feel a little bit better today and I'm hoping that if I rest it will give me the energy to finish off the rest of the week. 

Last night I had a $50 Barnes & Noble gift certificate burning a hole in my wallet so I went and purchased what I think is the funniest show ever created: Frisky Dingo.

I've SEEN the whole series already but when I watched it last night I STILL ended up laughing out loud at least once during every episode.

The show is sick, twisted, sarcastic, stupid, and fucking genius beyond belief.  :)

Any how, I'm going to go home, read, try to study, and more importantly, try to relax. 

I seem to have reverted to my usual habit of not being able to go to bed and then waking up WAY too early and, I have to admit, I prefer it to sleeping for 12 to 14 hours a night.  I went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 2am.  Wide awake.  Totally not tired.  :-/  So I cleaned my apartment for the first time in 5 DAYS!!  My place was disgusting beyond words.  Oddly, that seemed to make me feel more relaxed and less stressed so I guess I now know what must be done next time I want to walk around slapping the shit out of people for breathing.  Other than just slapping them, or course.  Even though that would be a SUPER rewarding experience. 

I will update you on the lifting tomorrow.

I'm irritable today!

I own a futon. 

I always sleep with it in the 'up' position so there's no way for me to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, but....  Somehow I've managed to do just that.  I feel super scattered, grumpy, irritable, and anxious. 

Everything is in my way today, I have tunnel vision, my heart is racing.  I feel shitty.

So, with that preface! (lol!)

Here's todays workout.

TDS sent me my lifting schedule today!  YAY!!  It starts with Chest and Triceps.

Flat Bench w/DB's. 

1 warm up set @ 25 lbs for 12 reps (I accomplished!)
1st set @30lbs for 8-10 reps (accomplished!)
2nd @35lbs for 8-10 reps (I could only get 7)
3rd @40lbs for 8-10 reps (EPIC FAIL!  I couldn't manage to lift the 40lbs at all.  Did 4 @ 35lbs.
4th was a super set until failure.  Did 4 @ 35lbs, 5 @ 30lbs and 10 @ 20lbs.

Incline Bench

Not quite sure what my weights and reps were supposed to be.  (It was a bit vague and I don't follow instructions very well)  ;-)

1st set 10@ 25 lbs
2nd 9 @ 30lbs
3rd 4 @ 30lbs
4th was a super set.  Did 7 @ 30lbs (I have no idea how I could do that after dying on the last set.  I'm weird I guess?), 9 @ 20lbs, and 11 @ 15lbs.

Chest Push-Ups/DB Fly

2 sets of DB Flys @20lbs for 15 reps supersetted with 20 push-ups.  No problem.

Tricep Overhead Press

1st set 10 @ 30 lbs
2nd 10 @ 35 lbs
3rd 8 @ 40 lbs

No problem. 

Cable-Press Downs

1st set 12 @ 30lbs
2nd 12 @ 25lbs
3rd 12 @ 20 lbs.

All in all it was probably the most productive of all the lifting sessions I've had.  I was hoenstly tired when I finished and my arms were shakey which is something that never happens.

I hope it's because there are new supersets in the routine now and not that I feel like a big bag of poop. 

Today's run was a total failure.  I just couldn't get my brain to calm down.  That meant that I couldn't get my breathing under control and I was tense and couldn't relax.  Awful experience.  So I bailed after a mile and a half.

I'm gonna take myself somewhere nice for lunch, maybe go buy a DVD and I'm gonna go home and chill out. 

Since I crapped out on the run I'm going to try to get in 2 miles tomorrow just to keep my weekly miles up.

Tomorrow is Back and Biceps.  I'm supposed to do Dead Lifts.  Hmmm.. We'll see about that. 

The New Year is almost here!

The slate, it's blank... get it?

Yes, I entirely missed the month of November.  Life has been a touch crazy lately and blogging was the last thing on my mind. 

After sitting down and reevaluating  it has become apparent to me that I need to start simplifying things or I'm going to get nowhere in a hurry.

As is my way, I've got about 400 balls too many in the air and haven't been able to juggle any of them successfully.  So I'm going to start cutting things back a bit.  Shouldn't be too hard since I don't have school next semester (due to a serious case of brokeitis!).

I just want everyone to know, if you're hearing from me a little less than you used to, it's not because I don't care, it's that I'm just busy trying to get stuff done.  I PROMISE I will make it up to you eventually.  I really will!

Okay, on to the plans I have for this week:

Here's the new running schedule!  I have new shoes (THANKS MOMMY!!) to break in so I'm cutting back my miles until I get them nice and maliable.

Mon: 3miles 1% incline
Tues: 3miles 1% incline
Wed: Rest
Thurs: 2miles 1% incline
Fri: 3miles 1% incline
Sat: 3miles 1% incline
Sun: Rest

So, about 11 miles shorter than my usual weekly mileage but once you figure in the added incline I think it will be perfectly adequate. 

As far as lifting, well, TDS is on vacation and I really have started to doubt whether I'll be able to keep up the routine.  He was supposed to email me my daily lifting duties but I can't imagine him having time to babysit. 

Ah well.  Off to running!

Maybe that WOULD work...

I have great news to share.  I've finally started writing again.  (doing the happy dance!) doot! doot!

Screenplays are my thing, horror more specifically. 

I have this one screenplay that's based on an old dream I had.  Well... not a dream.  A bloody awful nightmare.  It's about a cave below a town that has a Lovcraftian type beast residing in it.  Yes, very similar to the beast in Dean Koonts' Phantoms.

Though this story isn't really about the beast, it's about the people that live with it and rely on it.  What they have to do for it and what it does for them.  And, this screenplay is about being trapped with love between two opposing forces.

I have been chewing on this damn idea for well over 5 years now and I've always struggled with the 3rd act.  I've known the town, all its people, it's protagonist (me, I'm self centered!), her captor, the beast.  Everything.  But when it came down to the motivation I could never get it quite right.  I couldn't figure out why the protagonist would stay.  I couldn't figure out why the townspeople would feed people to a fucking thing in a cave.

Nothing ever sat right.  This morning it all slid into place.  It's love.  Fucking love.  Love and that awful strangle-hold it has on everything and everyone. 

Yup, I know how bitter that sounds.  But not even deep seated hatred will make people do the things they do for love or loss thereof. 

I've written this same screenplay about 3 times to completion.  The last time it topped 300 pages. In screenplay language that's a minute a page so... a really long movie!  Every time it didn't work so I would try to rewrite, take it back to the beginning, start all over.  Change the characters around, switch up the town from old school to modern back to old school. 

I kept getting stuck up on the same question:  What is the story question?

Uhh... I have no fucking clue.  I could never come up with a good answer to that because the story didn't really have one.  It just was.

The story question is this:  Who is the real destructive monster here?

I think that everyone has this rose-tinted view of selfless, altruistic love.  That, if mutual love between two people was destroying one of them, of COURSE the other would let them go. 

No... no you probably wouldn't.  And the one dying probably wouldn't let go either.  Because that's not how love works. 

Husbands shoot their wives over this. 

Mothers kill their children over this.

People commit suicide over this.

Love is a crazy, irrational thing. 

Most of the time it's beautiful and fun and everything it's talked up to be.  But sometimes it's a nightmare.  A heart rending nightmare.

So THAT is what this screenplay is about.  Could you turn your back on love to save your loved one's life?  How far would you push it?  How far would you fight over that person?  Could you let them go or would you keep pulling until you rip them in two?

Yes, it's a bitter screenplay.  No, it's not based on any one specific event.  (In my mind I can just imagine the big sighs of relief from a few readers.)

In all reality, this screenplay comes from me.  I'm the thing in the cave.  At first I thought I was the protagonist, but the more I started to chew on the story, the more I realized what I'd done. 

A friend of mine recently hit the nail on the head when he asked me if I considered myself to me self-loathing.  Umm. duh.  ;-)  Of course I am!  That's where the original nightmare came from!   The cave and the thing in it are my mind's representation of ME!  I am the thing I'm afraid of.  And God Forbid anyone else get near me/it.  It's poison!  Even if it does mean well. 

I have this subconscious VERY conscious fear of poisoning the people around me with the same negativity that's rolling around in my head.  I'm always very aware of the need to put on a happy face for those around me because if I don't I might drive them away or, even worse, drag them down with me! 

It would be nice if I could just become a recluse, keeping everyone at arms length.  But it's hard to be alone and it's so nice to find someone to talk to.  It's even nicer to find someone to love.  Then the fear sets it.  The fear of rejections, the fear of driving them away, the fear of making them miserable. 

I want to make people laugh!  I don't want to upset a loved one that makes me so happy.  But I do.  Damnit! 

So, that's what the screenplay is about.  It's that poison on all sides.  When it all goes terribly wrong.  Something I doubt you'll find in the RomCom section of the video store anytime soon! 

Oh!  And just to lighten the mood a bit.  Here's a joke!

What to Vegan Zombies eat?   





answer:  GRAAAAAAINSS!!!


(Thank you to TDS for that joke.  It's STILL making me giggle!  HAhahaha)