Thursday, October 8, 2009

Burnout.. Oh ya!

This sign says, "Good Karma".

I've finally been called out for not posting by my dear friend (we'll call him) Talk, Dark & Southern, or TDS. He's right. I've become lousy at blogging. I've actually become lousy at doing just about anything other than working, eating, and sleeping! And lately I've been failing pretty hard in the sleeping department as well. Though, I do have some very good news.

I finally isolated the trigger for my shin splints. Hint: they fit on your feet!

Yup, my nifty Aasics broke my legs. This is a bummer for me since they weren't cheap and they feel GREAT to run on and walk in...until my shins start to cramp up. So I'm back to my old as dirt Sauconies until I can afford to buy a new pair.
Bad shoes..
Happy Shoes!!

As far as Muay Thai and Boxing, I have to admit that I'm starting to feel the burnout. I think it's a self esteem thing combined with the general crankyness of not being able to do much more with my time other than survive.

Part of the problem is that my weight has crept back up to 145lbs due to a combination of being depressed as dirt (yes, I am human.. barely!) and not being able to run like I used to. Now I feel fat and don't want to be seen being all 'jiggly' while trying to work out. Silly, I know, but it KILLS the motivation that I was already struggling with in the first place.

On top of that, when I'm at work all I want to do is go do something else. Clean my apartment, do homework and study, paint, draw, write, knit, clean, ANYTHING ELSE but be at work. It's not the job. I love my job! I clean, I get to teach people and help them become better at what they want to do, and I work with a pretty awesome group of people. It's just that I've been so stressed, depressed, and without an outlet that all I want to do is be home, alone, and accomplishing something. Working out doesn't count for me and neither does 'doing a good job'. I need to create something. Until I do the ideas float around in my head eating at me, distracting me, keeping me from proofreading my texts and facebook posts before I hit 'send' (ya, that's it. Totally!), and just generally screwing up my ability to do anything requiring braincells.

Another funny (and sort of sad) quirk of mine is that I can't do ANYTHING until my apartment is clean. And I'm not talking 'I tidied up and vacuumed' clean. Oh no. I'm talking about busting out the carpet steam cleaner, the mop bucket, spray bottles filled with oh so many cleaners, and going to town until all dirt, grime, cat hair, ferret poop, chain grease, and dust has been vanquished! No space is safe. Hiding behind a fully stocked bookshelf? Not for long Mr Dust Bunny, your doom in nigh!

Now, as you can see, I'm writing right now. This means that I'm creating, which I think may give you an indication of how I spent yesterday. I even bleached the grout in my bathroom to a nice, crisp white. (insert big, happy deep breath right here)
Oh ya.. that's it riiiiight there..

I even took a few pictures this morning to post as Daily Pictures. Remember that? I started it almost a year ago and then promptly dropped it off my To Do list in a fit of unparalleled lazyness. Well, I haven't forgotten and I'm trying really hard to bring it back. No, REALLY!

I took a few extra pics.. cuz with models like this, who wouldn't?

So that's where things are at right now. I'm grumpy, antisocial, and lazy, but I'm starting to feel a little better.

Today's workout was a little lifting with TDS. I bailed on the thai today and managed to demotivate TDS as well (such is my gift) and he got to watch me embarass myself with heavy objects instead. What makes it worse is being a novice and being around someone who is quite good at lifting. I'm hoping people don't feel that way about me when I'm teaching them...unless we're sparring, then I want them pissing themselves in terror. >:-)

We did Chest today (I did chest, he helped). :\

Bench: 10 Warmup/ 5/ 5/ and I think 5. During this, TDS learned a very interesting fact about my muscles; they can go 100% until they're done and then they are DONE! There's no 'in between' and the failure is sudden. I was doing these at 85lbs which felt easy right up until my muscles decided they didn't, and then they were impossible.

Incline Barbell: 10 / 10 / 10?. 25lbs for the first 2 and that felt easy until my L. arm gave and I nearly gave myself a black eye. 20lbs for the last set which felt fine until the same thing happened again.

I kinda wish I had some wiggle room in between "hey! this is CAKE" and "Arms. Like. NOODLES!!" Just sayin'.

Then Machine Fly: Felt easy, have NO IDEA what it was set on. I didn't think to look. 8-I Left arm started to give a touch at the end as well but it wasn't a 100% failure, just 90% or so. (shrug)

So now that I'm home I think I'm gonna kick around, draw, and relax in my nice clean place. I switched out today's run for a 10 mile bike ride in the Aves due to knee pain.

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